ist aus dem blog von vinivici, bekannt aus den fullring games auf pokerstars.
imo sehr geil und ich wollts euch nicht vorenthalten:
quelle:
http://vinivici9586.wordpress.com/2011/ ... er-player/So after months of dating, you and your poker-playing boyfriend are ready to take things to the next level–you’re moving into his apartment. Free utilities. Extra cuddling. No more walks of shame. This is going to be awesome.
To celebrate, you spend friday night enjoying a five-course meal at a swanky restauraunt, and follow up by dancing the night away. Bottle service ftw.
You wake up on 1000 thread count turkish sheets without much recollection of the previous night’s escapades to your boyfriend punching a hole in the newly painted wall. He is screaming at the top of his lungs about how a scout with his idiot gut shot him and stole all his money. Also, apparently it’s all David Sklansky’s fault, and if somebody doesn’t unplug the router he’s going to eat some toast.
WTF is going on? Am I dating a skitzo? Does he have turrets? Should I notify the authorities?No. You’re dating a poker player, and if things are going to work out between you two, you’re going to have to learn the lingo.
…..
1. Fish/Donk/Whale/Drooler/Scout
Poker Definition: These are all words that we use to describe weaker opponents. In general, ‘fish’ is the least abrasive and most commonly used . A fish doesn’t even have to play that badly, he is just an underdog in the game. A common poker axiom is: “If you can’t spot the fish at the table, you’re probably it.”
Scout is one of the most infamous fish around. He has probably about 5 million in the last two years. Most players who are up or down that kind of money play the ‘nosebleeds’–the highest of stakes–but Scout has amassed these losses at stakes as low as 1knl, where you will find players of all skill levels taking a shot at him.
Relationship Example: Jennifer Anniston allowing Brad Pitt to work with Angelina Jolie in ‘Mr. and Mrs. Smith’–fish move.
2. Toast/tilt
Poker Definition: A couple years ago, a mid-high stakes player ‘rytoast’ started seemingly randomly going all-in preflop without any money in the pot. He normally did it with strong hands , but sometimes would do it with weaker holdings when he was steaming. Over the course of the year, other players also started randomly ‘toasting’ their opponents. You could usually get away with it a few times, but if you did it without premium cards, you would eventually get caught.
At smaller stakes the fake toast has become a popular move. This is where players go all-in right after losing a big pot to fake being on ’tilt’, but in reality they have AA or KK. Tilt is the frustration and anger that comes from getting unlucky for a very long period of time. It often leads to bad play and bad results.
Relationship Example: I think Mel Gibson does the trick here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJOgdKmnblA
3. all in ev/run bad
Poker Definition: No matter how calm, cool, and collected your boyfriend is he will get smacked by the variance stick, start ‘running badly’, and complain incessently about it. The proper reaction when faced with these complaints (other than taking your clothes off) is to proclaim that it is ‘ so sick’ and that ‘nobody runs as bad as you’. From your perspective, you know that this is false. Your boyfriend made half a million last year clicking buttons, and he’s ‘unlucky’? Sure…about as unlucky as WSOP winner Joe Hachem (
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BpBX6MrS7QY) or FTP redpro Mike Matusow (
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P44yMPYWsu0).
The most common way that your boyfriend will describe his run bad is through ‘all in ev’. All in ev is a representation of the expected amount you would win if every runout was run infinite times. For example, if you go all-in preflop with AA vs KK, you are expected to win 80 percent of the time. If the pot size is 100 dollars and you win the entire pot, you ran 20 dollars above EV. If you lose, you ran 80 dollars below EV. These situations tend to even out over time, but sometimes people go through stretches where they are massively over or under EV.
Relationship Example: The pull-out technique or ‘coitus interruptus:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coitus_interruptus‘ works about 95 percent of the time. Interestingly enough, this is exactly the same percentage you have of set over setgetting one-outted when all-in on the flop. Is this a coincidence? Probably not.
4. oh trooo/must be nice/ez game
Poker Definition: Poker players don’t always complain about how badly they run. When on a big heater, elite players will often celebrate by saying ‘oh trooo’ and when they put a bad beat on their opponent it’s an ‘ez game’.
If you run hot enough for long enough (or just run hot for a few hours and win a tournament), your opponents will be left bewildered at how lucky you are, and will usually mutter ‘must be nice.’
Relationship Example:
Hot Girlfriend: That was amazing!
Elite Player: Oh trooooo
Hot Girlfriend: Seriously, though. I think I came three times.
Elite Player: Must be nice…
5. angle shooting/grimm
Poker Definition (from flopturnriver.com): In live poker, deliberately violating either the letter or the spirit of a poker rule for the purpose of making a profit that one would not have been entitled to otherwise. Examples of angle shooting include: miscalling one’s hand in the hope that a player with a better hand will muck, intentionally acting out of turn to see another player’s reaction, verbalizing an action in an ambiguous manner that can be interpreted in one of two ways depending on how the hand goes, or misrepresenting the size of one’s chip stack. Angle shooting is generally discouraged by casinos and poker rooms although sometimes the dealer or the floor will uphold the angle shooter’s actions.
One of the most famous angle shoots of all time is Grimmstar’s blind stealing at 200/400 HU. He would sit in vs his opponent and only play one hand on the button (where he is a big favorite to win the hand). He would then immediately sit out after stealing his opponents Big Blind and claim ‘TY. I’m going to go buy an iPod now’. ‘Grimming” is now banned at most online casinos.
Relationship Example: The girl that agrees to go out with a guy that she’s not really interested in just for the free food. Not even a good night kiss?
6. balancing your range/exploitability
Poker Definition: In poker pop-culture you often hear about putting your opponents on a hand. In general, this is unrealistic because a good opponent should be able to have a lot of different hands in most spots. Instead, good players put their opponents on a ‘range’ which is all the kinds of hands you can have in a certain spot. For example, at 100nl, if someone leads into you on the flop, their range is top set, middle set, and bottom set. This is an extremely unbalanced range (it’s very strong). Good players will ‘balance their range’ by leading some weaker hands, including strong draws, overcards and backdoor draws, top pair, and complete air. A balanced range makes you difficult to play against and less ‘exploitable’. Playing a range that is too strong is exploitable because an observant opponent will fold whenever you have a good hand, and you will be making a lot less money.
Relationship Example: Unfortunately, balancing your range becomes most important when cheating on your significant other. Theoretically, if you cheat ‘unexploitably’, you should be able to cheat on your significant other indefinitely. A few tricks of the trade are that when you claim that you’re going out with your buddies, you don’t style your hair or dress nicely. And when you come back, it’s best not to smell like perume. Keep your ranges balanced, and be aware of what you’re representing.
7. leveling war
Poker Definition: When poker players are of similar skill level and understand what each other is capable of, they get into a lot of spots that are called ‘leveling wars’. Leveling wars are sometimes described as a game of rock-paper-scissors. What exactly do we think when we’re playing rock-paper-scissors? Sometimes, we just randomly throw whatever comes to mind, but other times we throw the exact object twice in a row (our opponent would never expect that) or if he does, then we would throw what would beat our opponent if he were trying to throw exactly what would beat us. Confusing? Yeah, but to be a good player you need to get the hang of it, and start bluffing twice in a row rather than bluffing the first time and having it the next time.
Relationship Example: Leveling wars are the crux of every relationship. Even the first time you meet or go out with a girl, you are already leveling each other. It’s absolutely crucial to have the upper hand in this situation, so I’ve given multiple examples.
(1) Dinner
Guy: Let’s get dinner. (Open Raise)
Girl: [want's to see where she's at] You should cook for us! (3bet)
Guy: [rebluff] No. (4bet)
Girl: [slightly tilted] I don’t think this is working out… (5bet shove)
(2) Mall
Inevitably, your girlfriend will ask you if the jeans she is trying on make her look fat. Never, ever, ever say yes. Make sure to cut her off before she can ask you by saying something like: ’Maybe you should try the other ones on’ or ‘I don’t really like that color’. She still might accuse you of thinking she looks fat , but you will hopefully have a balanced range (i.e. tell her that you don’t like socks that she wears), so that she trusts that you are not lying to her. In her heart, she knows that you might be lying, but she prefers to think that you are being honest, and you want her to think that.
(3) First dates
It’s always difficult to ask a girl out on a first date. You both are trying to come across as ‘interesting’ people, so you agree to do something atypical, like go ice skating. Each of you has an okay time, but you say that it was a lot of fun (assuming you want a second date). Until you guys actually become really close, your entire relationship will be based on levels like this where you both don’t like ice skating that much, but you think the other person likes it, so you agree to do it.
…
I hope this has been insightful, and will help out your relationship, so that next time your boyfriend wakes you up in the morning, you know that it’s just your typical ‘weaker player getting lucky for a large amount of money’, and you should probalby go and console him, so that he doesn’t ‘get upset, go all-in preflop with seven-high, and get in one thousand dollars with a negative expectation’.
